Confessions From The Queen Of Excuses

I am my own worst enemy when it comes to my running.  In a perfect world I would want and get to run every single day.  I would never get injured.  Every run would result in the elusive runner’s high.  Unfortunately life is decidedly not like that and won’t be anytime soon unless I win the lottery.  Of course, I would have to buy a ticket, but I digress…

The reality of my life is such that I should be able to run as often as I want/need to.  I’m a stay at home parent.  We don’t fill our days so full that there is no opportunity to run.

Recently, however, my brain is not allowing me to realize this.  Someone out there must feel that they identify with the following excuses at least one; please tell me I’m not alone!:
  • It’s too cold (seasonal – sometimes it’s too hot).
  • It’s raining too hard.
  • It’s too early/late/dark.
  • Spud is heavy in the stroller.
  • Spud will only sit still for about 20 minutes – if I’m lucky – before he wants to get out to run.
  • I just don’t feel like it.
  • I feel like I’m holding other people back since I’ve lost all my speed.
  • I’m self-conscious about the weight I’ve gained over the summer and how I look in my running clothes (I’m not overweight, but am not comfortable with my current weight).
I am stuck in a vicious cycle.  I make excuses, don’t run, feel fat and lazy, still don’t run because I don’t see the point, and all that serves to do is perpetuate those feelings.  I know that self doubt and a lack of motivation are my main issues.  If I don’t have a desire to haul my butt out the door I won’t go.  Eventually to get back on track I’m going to have to ignore the extremely loud voice in my head that is telling me I’m not good enough and that I should quit.  Short of a frontal lobotomy I’m still trying to figure out how to effectively do that.

There are excuses I need to tell to shove it right off the bat.  Weather can’t be an excuse.  I live in Vancouver, BC, for Pete’s sake!  It’s going to rain and it’s going to rain often.  My weight can eff off too.  Yes, I’m feeling bad about it.  Mainly because I am comparing myself to how I looked back in May after a full marathon training cycle.  I notice it far more than anyone else and am my worst critic.  I need to get back the mentality I had when I bought my first pair of tights.  I cannot see myself running down the road.  So what if things are moving about?  If anything at least I can say that I made an effort to get out and better myself.

The time of day is a huge issue for me simply because I can’t go out early or late on my own.  Neither Colin nor I are comfortable with it.  We don’t live in a terrible neighbourhood, but prefer that I don’t take the risk.  If any of my friends reading this are interested in either early, early or post-kiddo-bedtime runs message me!

My struggle really lays with the oft-cursed stroller, the expectations of a 4-1/2 year old, and my willingness to deal with both.  It is far too easy to say it’s too much effort to get everything together for a >1 hour run.  And yes, it is easier (and warmer, drier, etc) to stay home.  But I’m only doing myself a disservice.  In the long run – totally unintentional pun – no one cares if I run but me (well, maybe Colin, but that’s because he has to live with me).

What I need is to be held accountable.  Ask me how my non-training running is doing.  Come January ask how my marathon training is progressing.  Ask if I sucked it up, threw on the rain cover, and took Spud out with me.  Essentially, continue to give me the kick in the butt I so obviously am in need of.

The best I can do is try, but I know that I need to because, at the end of the day, it’s about taking care of myself and setting a good example for Spud.  It’s about what I do and about how I feel about myself.


7 responses

  1. Do you have a running group or running friends? That always helps met to get up and running!

    December 1, 2011 at 11:27 am

  2. i do the same thing. I think it's pretty normal. If you want, I can yell at you every day on fb or twitter and say, Hey lady, go run! haha,I'm mostly kidding.

    December 1, 2011 at 12:35 pm

  3. I know my run group has kept my accountable and it has been a huge influence on me so I am lucky in that way.
    It is so tough when you are on that excuse slope to get off it….except to just jump off!

    December 1, 2011 at 1:22 pm

  4. I think it is normal to feel like this. I am in the same vicious cycle now. I can't seem to be motivated enough to go run. And while I love running with my Lab puppy, I don't want to deal with tugging her throughout my run.
    Hang in there. You will get through this rough patch.

    December 1, 2011 at 1:33 pm

  5. Amy

    Have you joined a blog challenge for the holidays? That's what got me out of my slump. I will do anything to get some meaningless points in a competition I can't win! I'm just doing 5K runs right now. It's not too daunting, but it's better than nothing. Yesterday, I was feeling tired, so I ran on a slower setting for 30 minutes.

    December 1, 2011 at 3:45 pm

  6. We all get in our ruts and it is hard to get out. Try to do something different in a run….make it a game. For Spud, how about making him in charge of your water bottle or give him bubbles, etc. An entertained kid will last longer….doesn't make them lighter though. Oh my! Why did I just register to do a 5K with my 40 lb darling daughter in the jogging stroller?!

    In other words, you are not alone and let's keep each other accountable! I will not have any excuses. I will run when I get home…..even if it is on that darn treadmill…..

    December 1, 2011 at 5:18 pm

  7. I'm in the same club as you. If I keep dwelling on what I looked like I'll never get back at it!

    December 1, 2011 at 9:22 pm

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